


Text Message from Bucky

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Epistolary, F/M, First Time, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Multi, Texting, Texts From Last Night, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 11:41:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2190357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky has a great night with a couple of friends, but what happens in the post-threesome morning after kind of terrifies him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Text Message from Bucky

**Text message from Bucky:** This is weird

 **Text message from Tony:** Kill anyone?

 **Text message from Bucky:** No

 **Text message from Tony:** Win.

 **Text message from Bucky:** Fuck you

 **Text message from Tony:** LOL

 **Text message from Bucky:** I just woke up in bed sandwiched between two people

 **Text message from Tony:** HOT. Send pics?

 **Text message from Bucky:** No. I just stepped out to the bathroom so I could text you.

 **Text message from Tony:** You brought the phone into the bathroom?? They're going to assume you're posting online pics of your poop

 **Text message from Bucky:** SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS TOTALLY WEIRD THEY ARE JUST SITTING IN BED SHARING DOUGHNUTS AND CHATTING LIKE THIS IS ALL NORMAL

 **Text message from Tony:** They spell it "donuts" now

 **Text message from Bucky:** This century spells things wrong.

 **Text message from Tony:** So what's the problem? They didn't offer you any donuts?

 **Text message from Bucky:** I wake up and they are just talking like every Saturday they have their usual post-threesome brunch. I didn't know what to say.

 **Text message from Tony:** Oh you're asking me for threesome etiquette. Very good choice, I'm very experienced. Just say thank you for a nice night and leave. And maybe send them jewelry after if you hope to do it again.

 **Text message from Bucky:** I don't want to leave, I want to not be awkward. I used to be good at this, dammit!

 **Text message from Tony:** Oh you want a morning fuck.

 **Text message from Bucky:** Tony. I want to stay and hang out with them.

 **Text message from Tony:** Huh. That's very mature. Can't help you. PS do I know your threesome buddies? Are they hot?

 **Text message from Bucky:** TTYL

********

 **Text message from Bucky:** So you were right about Clint and Natasha

 **Text message from Pepper:**!!! So did you?

 **Text message from Bucky:** Yeah

 **Text message from Pepper:** *applause*

 **Text message from Bucky:** i hate you

 **Text message from Pepper:** LOL. I'm just happy for you. How was it?

 **Text message from Bucky:** Amazing. but what do i do now

 **Text message from Pepper:** Well, the general assumption is that you will reciprocate

 **Text message from Bucky:** I know how to have sex!!! I mean after, now that they're just hanging out and eating breakfast.

 **Text message from Pepper:** it sounds like you should hang out and eat breakfast

 **Text message from Bucky:** No. THEY are hanging out like everything's normal. They are talking about articles in the fucking newspaper and sharing a cup of coffee. What the fuck am I doing here?

 **Text message from Pepper:** What's the issue?

 **Text message from Bucky:** I don't do normal! I do angry sex and leaving right after! The last people in the world I fucking thought would be normal domestic and warm&fuzzy are Clint and Natasha!

 **Text message from Pepper:** They sound nice

 **Text message from Bucky:** Natasha has killed people with her pinky! In the PAST TWO DAYS!!! I wasn't supposed to have to learn normal yet!!!

 **Text message from Pepper:** You'll be fine! Go out there and relax and have fun -- gotta go to a meeting, talk more tonight

********

 **Text message from Bucky:** I just had sex with Clint and Natasha

 **Text message from Steve:** Bastard

 **Text message from Bucky:** hey, girls throw themselves at you all the time, not my fault you never act on it

 **Text message from Steve:** I repeat: bastard. But really, are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, you're working with them now so it might not be the best idea.

 **Text message from Bucky:** Seriously, shut up. I need help. They're out there being all weird.

 **Text message from Steve:** Are they like talking about the best way to choke someone out or something?

 **Text message from Bucky:** I wish. They're talking about whether they want to go to the farmer's market today and if they think it's going to rain and whether they want more cream in their coffee!!!

 **Text message from Steve:** They sound adorable

 **Text message from Bucky:** I know, it's totally creepy. I figured they'd just get up first thing in the morning and start knife-throwing practice or something

 **Text message from Steve:** LOL That wouldn't surprise me. But if you don't know what to say just drag them both back to bed ;)

 **Text message from Bucky:** That's almost exactly what Tony said. Sort of.

 **Text message from Steve:** You told Tony before me? :(

 **Text message from Bucky:** I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences

 **Text message from Steve:** ???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences

 **Text message from Bucky:** Very funny, now HELP ME

 **Text message from Steve:** Just a second. Let me take a few minutes to think of something.

 **Text message from Bucky:** Steve?

*********

 **Text message from Steve:** Hey

 **Text message from Clint:** Hey

 **Text message from Steve:** So what have you been up to?

 **Text message from Clint:** I dunno. Definitely not corrupting anyone close to you.

 **Text message from Steve:** Just thought you'd like to know that Bucky is cowering in the bathroom because you guys are being creepily adorable

 **Text message from Clint:** Does he feel left out? We tried really hard to make him not feel left out!

 **Text message from Steve:** No he just thinks it's totally weird that you guys are suddenly like Mr. Rogers and Martha Stewart.

 **Text message from Clint:** Ha! You just implied that Mr. Rogers and Martha Stewart are fucking. Also, good job on almost modern references.

 **Text message from Steve:** I thought those were extremely up to date.

 **Text message from Clint:** They weren't bad. Maybe I'll like break down the bathroom door and tackle him. Will that make him feel better?

 **Text message from Steve:** Clint. Do NOT. Do that.

 **Text message from Clint:** Trust me, it'll work.

 **Text message from Steve:** I'm texting Natasha next

 **Text message from Clint:** Fine, fine, I'll think of something more "prudent". I guess I'll ask Tash what she thinks we should do.

********

 **Text message from Bucky:** Hey, gotta go -- Clint just challenged me to a shooting contest and Natasha wants to spar with the winner.

 **Text message from Steve:** Cool - have fun.

**Author's Note:**

> For these two prompts for "Texts from Last Night" day at comment-fic on livejournal:
> 
>   _MCU, any/any,_
> 
>   _I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences_
> 
> _???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences_
> 
>  __and
> 
> _Natasha/Clint/Bucky,_
> 
> _I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch._

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Text Message from Bucky [PODFIC]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5876737) by [Ailis_Fictive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailis_Fictive/pseuds/Ailis_Fictive), [lavenderfrost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderfrost/pseuds/lavenderfrost), [Nikki373](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikki373/pseuds/Nikki373), [Opalsong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opalsong/pseuds/Opalsong), [Rhea314 (Rhea)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhea/pseuds/Rhea314), [RsCreighton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RsCreighton/pseuds/RsCreighton)




End file.
